Today comes the time to describe the incredible experience of the English Corner.
What is the English Corner? It is the most condensed Chinese cultural experience. It is like drinking a raspberry syrup instead of eating five kilos of raspberries. It is like drinking a bottle of vodka in ten minutes instead of having twenty beers over two months.
English Corner takes place weekly. All students are welcome and the aim is to let them talk to us, foreign teachers, and practice their English. All the foreign teachers are present, but we say hello to each other and that is all we have time for before the swarms of students surround us with curiosity in their eyes. At the beginning I talked about the designated topics, but I gave up recently, inspired by my colleagues, who just let the students ask questions and talk about what is troubling them.
Dear foreign teachers of mine from the past, if you read this, forgive me for asking pointless questions. We have to answer the same questions over and over again and once more. The level of pointlessness varies from a question to question. For example, those ones:
“How long have you been in China?”
“Why have you chosen China?”
are quite reasonable and I can understand why people are curious. It is just the amount of times I have to answer them that makes it tiring. Moreover, those people are young and they have no idea that in life you make decisions like this mostly driven by material reasons or no reasons at all. Nobody will tell them: “I've chosen China because I've always been interested in Chinese culture.” This land is full of foreigners, who, like me, came here because there are no more jobs available for foreigners in any other country. The story: “I was tired with my life and I went on-line and saw this add that said come to China to teach....” is repeated over and over again. I try to make my story more appealing, telling them that I wanted to study Chinese, as it's an important language nowadays. But yeah, the job factor is the most important.
The problem with the question: “What places have you visited in China?” is that I really don't want to repeat the list for the hundredth time, so I just say: “many,” especially that the list is getting longer and longer.
The questions more pointless are those:
“Do you like Chinese food?”
“Do you like China?”
That is what I am going to say next time: No! I hate Chinese food and China! That's why I live here!
The one question absolutely infuriating me is: “Do you like Chinese men?”
Let's spend some time on this one. While it is normal in China to ask private questions, I'm not sure they usually ask their teachers for sexual preferences, so it is weird. At the same time, they show concern that I'm not married in my age yet, which is not a pleasant thing to hear. For Chinese people the age of thirty is a borderline for women. One Chinese acquaintance described unmarried women in their thirties as “illegal.” It is that unthinkable to be single. Worried about me probably, they consider it a good idea to marry a Chinese man, as long as I like them. They even told me once that children from mixed marriages are smarter and prettier, so I should marry a Chinese man. Unfortunately, they don't take under consideration the fact that all Chinese men are not alike and don't look alike, so how can I say yes or no? They probably are curious about my private life and don't know how to ask about it. Also, they probably expect me to say: “Yes, I like Chinese men.” I will never say such a thing, as it is a generalization over a huge group of people, although a positive one. Therefore, I always struggle to find a suitable answer. I usually go with “The nationality is not important,” but when I finally lose my patience, I'll say “No, they're all ugly.”
One of my colleagues was so bored once that he decided to allow the students ask him any question. Any. No matter how personal would it be, he would answer. He expected a question like: “How many girlfriends have you had?” The circle of students was silent for a long time and they were staring at him with blank expressions on their faces. Finally, a boy asked: “Do you like Chinese food?”
I am somewhat introvert, so having dozens of people staring with me with sparkles of curiosity in their eyes makes me feel claustrophobic after some time. They also like to inform me how beautiful I am and sometimes they add sincerely that I'm beautiful because I'm white. This is the funniest part, as in China no matter how ugly you are, you are perceived as beautiful when your skin is lighter, so they are basically informing me that I am white. Nevertheless, I still believe that they are saying this sincerely, which might be a problem, as I absolutely don't care what I wear and never put on any make-up when I am in China. What's the point in trying?
Don't misunderstand me, the fact that I'm an introvert makes me whine a little bit. Although they make me tired and by the end I'm dreaming of going home and having to talk to nobody for a long while, they are an intelligent group of young people. In the English Corner you can observe the problems that this country faces right now and the changes in culture that take place or not at all. Students like to talk about how much they would love to travel abroad freely, be able to see the world. They ask about the cultural differences between them and the West. They complain about their government and standards of living. Young people talk openly about their disappointment with the Party. Even today a student who quotes the Chairman with love in his eyes told me that the Party is hopeless. They know that we have much more freedom in the West, they also would love that freedom.
On the other hand, you can see how un-Western they are. If you ask them any question about life, like: “What do you want to plan to do in the future?”, they will always bring up their parents, how they must care for them, secure their future. Also, they will just say what their parents wish them to do. If you ask about their dreams, they will say that above all they wish for their parents to be happy, nothing more, nothing they want for themselves. Disagreeing with parents is unthinkable. I think they must suppress many feelings towards their family members that they are not allowed to voice in public.
Also, they are very materialistic and very un-Western in this aspect. Yes, Western people are extremely materialistic, but we still view it as a negative quality. In Chinese culture money is the source of everything. When I ask people what job do they want, they say that a well-paid one because otherwise it will be difficult for them to get married. Doesn't matter how pretty and nice you are, without good money nobody will want you as a son or daughter-in-law. Without money they will get no respect from others, as poor people don't. Without money there is no power and no connections that make living in this country possible. Without money your children will not be educated nor are you allowed in the hospital. It's a country where nobody cares for you, so so must take care of yourself. So yes, money is a priority for young Chinese people. Moreover, they don't value individuality. In the West, half of the stories we read, listen to or watch (as a movie) are about individuals who swam against the current, did something that the society didn't approve of, were rejected by their families, the society, even persecuted. Most of the great painters and poets, scientists, even Jesus. To be against the society means that the society is not ready to appreciate you, that you are ahead of your times. Therefore, all teenagers in the West dream about being novelists, singers, poets, actors. Chinese teenagers don't, they dream about being successful members of society.
Sometimes you get incredible answers to simple questions. For example, a colleague asked a student what would he do, if you could travel in time. The student said without thinking that he would go back in time to fight the Japanese during the Japanese invasion. Convincing him that he could go anywhere back in time didn't help, he found it the most important to kill the Japanese and perhaps die in the process.
Sometimes you meet peculiar students. Last time we talked to a boy named Jason. Although cooking is forbidden in the dormitories, he decided that campus food is too expensive. He cooks everything: mutton, fish, all kinds of meat. Recently his father came and they slaughtered a turkey together (for those who haven't seen a turkey: they are huge). Then, they drank its blood and decided that it's not very tasty. The student is from Jiangsu Province, where they eat snakes and drink their blood. Jason has a 10-litre bottle of snake blood drink prepared by his grandmother. Snake's blood, unlike turkey's, is tasty. He also likes drinking baijiu with snake skinned alive and thrown into it. He believes that it will give him snake's strength. Ask, which animal he would like to eat, he replied without hesitating that people. He says that in China people eat unborn babies. His father's boss does, he told us, smacked his lips and added: it is very nutritious.
I hope, how much I hope that he was talking about placenta and just didn't know the English word for it.
What do we do when we hear all those things? What we were told to do when we were trained to be teachers: listen, let them speak, ask follow-up questions. It's only that in teacher training courses they don't prepare you to listen to people talking about eating babies. Doesn't matter, you come to China and learn.
It is written somewhere in our contracts that we are not allowed to talk about politics, sex, religion and other “sensitive topics.” Guess what the students want to talk about. And guess who is scared, only me, other foreign teachers don't really care much. I tend to listen, there is nothing in my contract about stopping students from talking what they want to talk about. That is how I learned about Chinese sexual education in schools (or absolute lack of it), their willingness to change their country, their religious beliefs. Recently two students asked me in class if I'm religious and I told them I shouldn't talk about it, but we are friends and I can tell them. What can I do, they are really curious! Once in English Corner we were talking about improving the Chinese environment and I told them that in Poland much has changed during my lifetime. We didn't care about the environment when I was little and then we started and now it is visibly better. They asked when had the process of change begin. I was saying, well, in 1989 we.... I wanted to say: “stopped being communist”, hesitated, and actually said: “changed our political system.” but had I said it, it wouldn't really be a big deal. Nobody cares.
One curious thing about the Chinese people is that they stand too close when they talk to you. It is especially uncomfortable if they are of the opposite sex. Once a boy stood too close to me in the English Corner and asked:
-Where are you from?
-Poland.
-Oh I know. Poland during the second war, very bad.
-Yes.
-Hitler a very bad man.
-Yes (getting irritated, Holocaust is hardly the best topic for the small talk, especially when people are too close to you).
-What did you feel in those times.
-I don't know, I wasn't born yet.
-When was it?
-Eighty years ago.
-Eighteen?- the student looks at me with astonishment that I'm younger than eighteen.
-No, eighty!
-Aaaaa. Sorry, my English not good.
I finally managed to escape. To be honest, it is the weirdest incident of all the English Corners, so it's not that bad.
I recently started imagining my dear friends from Poland visiting me and taking part in the English Corner. I wonder how traumatic would it be if it happened during one's first stay in China. It certainly would be a more valuable experience that visiting both Forbidden City and the Great Wall. However, it might be like giving that bottle of vodka, which you drink instead of having twenty beers over a month, to a baby.
What is the English Corner? It is the most condensed Chinese cultural experience. It is like drinking a raspberry syrup instead of eating five kilos of raspberries. It is like drinking a bottle of vodka in ten minutes instead of having twenty beers over two months.
English Corner takes place weekly. All students are welcome and the aim is to let them talk to us, foreign teachers, and practice their English. All the foreign teachers are present, but we say hello to each other and that is all we have time for before the swarms of students surround us with curiosity in their eyes. At the beginning I talked about the designated topics, but I gave up recently, inspired by my colleagues, who just let the students ask questions and talk about what is troubling them.
Dear foreign teachers of mine from the past, if you read this, forgive me for asking pointless questions. We have to answer the same questions over and over again and once more. The level of pointlessness varies from a question to question. For example, those ones:
“How long have you been in China?”
“Why have you chosen China?”
are quite reasonable and I can understand why people are curious. It is just the amount of times I have to answer them that makes it tiring. Moreover, those people are young and they have no idea that in life you make decisions like this mostly driven by material reasons or no reasons at all. Nobody will tell them: “I've chosen China because I've always been interested in Chinese culture.” This land is full of foreigners, who, like me, came here because there are no more jobs available for foreigners in any other country. The story: “I was tired with my life and I went on-line and saw this add that said come to China to teach....” is repeated over and over again. I try to make my story more appealing, telling them that I wanted to study Chinese, as it's an important language nowadays. But yeah, the job factor is the most important.
The problem with the question: “What places have you visited in China?” is that I really don't want to repeat the list for the hundredth time, so I just say: “many,” especially that the list is getting longer and longer.
The questions more pointless are those:
“Do you like Chinese food?”
“Do you like China?”
That is what I am going to say next time: No! I hate Chinese food and China! That's why I live here!
The one question absolutely infuriating me is: “Do you like Chinese men?”
Let's spend some time on this one. While it is normal in China to ask private questions, I'm not sure they usually ask their teachers for sexual preferences, so it is weird. At the same time, they show concern that I'm not married in my age yet, which is not a pleasant thing to hear. For Chinese people the age of thirty is a borderline for women. One Chinese acquaintance described unmarried women in their thirties as “illegal.” It is that unthinkable to be single. Worried about me probably, they consider it a good idea to marry a Chinese man, as long as I like them. They even told me once that children from mixed marriages are smarter and prettier, so I should marry a Chinese man. Unfortunately, they don't take under consideration the fact that all Chinese men are not alike and don't look alike, so how can I say yes or no? They probably are curious about my private life and don't know how to ask about it. Also, they probably expect me to say: “Yes, I like Chinese men.” I will never say such a thing, as it is a generalization over a huge group of people, although a positive one. Therefore, I always struggle to find a suitable answer. I usually go with “The nationality is not important,” but when I finally lose my patience, I'll say “No, they're all ugly.”
One of my colleagues was so bored once that he decided to allow the students ask him any question. Any. No matter how personal would it be, he would answer. He expected a question like: “How many girlfriends have you had?” The circle of students was silent for a long time and they were staring at him with blank expressions on their faces. Finally, a boy asked: “Do you like Chinese food?”
I am somewhat introvert, so having dozens of people staring with me with sparkles of curiosity in their eyes makes me feel claustrophobic after some time. They also like to inform me how beautiful I am and sometimes they add sincerely that I'm beautiful because I'm white. This is the funniest part, as in China no matter how ugly you are, you are perceived as beautiful when your skin is lighter, so they are basically informing me that I am white. Nevertheless, I still believe that they are saying this sincerely, which might be a problem, as I absolutely don't care what I wear and never put on any make-up when I am in China. What's the point in trying?
Don't misunderstand me, the fact that I'm an introvert makes me whine a little bit. Although they make me tired and by the end I'm dreaming of going home and having to talk to nobody for a long while, they are an intelligent group of young people. In the English Corner you can observe the problems that this country faces right now and the changes in culture that take place or not at all. Students like to talk about how much they would love to travel abroad freely, be able to see the world. They ask about the cultural differences between them and the West. They complain about their government and standards of living. Young people talk openly about their disappointment with the Party. Even today a student who quotes the Chairman with love in his eyes told me that the Party is hopeless. They know that we have much more freedom in the West, they also would love that freedom.
On the other hand, you can see how un-Western they are. If you ask them any question about life, like: “What do you want to plan to do in the future?”, they will always bring up their parents, how they must care for them, secure their future. Also, they will just say what their parents wish them to do. If you ask about their dreams, they will say that above all they wish for their parents to be happy, nothing more, nothing they want for themselves. Disagreeing with parents is unthinkable. I think they must suppress many feelings towards their family members that they are not allowed to voice in public.
Also, they are very materialistic and very un-Western in this aspect. Yes, Western people are extremely materialistic, but we still view it as a negative quality. In Chinese culture money is the source of everything. When I ask people what job do they want, they say that a well-paid one because otherwise it will be difficult for them to get married. Doesn't matter how pretty and nice you are, without good money nobody will want you as a son or daughter-in-law. Without money they will get no respect from others, as poor people don't. Without money there is no power and no connections that make living in this country possible. Without money your children will not be educated nor are you allowed in the hospital. It's a country where nobody cares for you, so so must take care of yourself. So yes, money is a priority for young Chinese people. Moreover, they don't value individuality. In the West, half of the stories we read, listen to or watch (as a movie) are about individuals who swam against the current, did something that the society didn't approve of, were rejected by their families, the society, even persecuted. Most of the great painters and poets, scientists, even Jesus. To be against the society means that the society is not ready to appreciate you, that you are ahead of your times. Therefore, all teenagers in the West dream about being novelists, singers, poets, actors. Chinese teenagers don't, they dream about being successful members of society.
Sometimes you get incredible answers to simple questions. For example, a colleague asked a student what would he do, if you could travel in time. The student said without thinking that he would go back in time to fight the Japanese during the Japanese invasion. Convincing him that he could go anywhere back in time didn't help, he found it the most important to kill the Japanese and perhaps die in the process.
Sometimes you meet peculiar students. Last time we talked to a boy named Jason. Although cooking is forbidden in the dormitories, he decided that campus food is too expensive. He cooks everything: mutton, fish, all kinds of meat. Recently his father came and they slaughtered a turkey together (for those who haven't seen a turkey: they are huge). Then, they drank its blood and decided that it's not very tasty. The student is from Jiangsu Province, where they eat snakes and drink their blood. Jason has a 10-litre bottle of snake blood drink prepared by his grandmother. Snake's blood, unlike turkey's, is tasty. He also likes drinking baijiu with snake skinned alive and thrown into it. He believes that it will give him snake's strength. Ask, which animal he would like to eat, he replied without hesitating that people. He says that in China people eat unborn babies. His father's boss does, he told us, smacked his lips and added: it is very nutritious.
I hope, how much I hope that he was talking about placenta and just didn't know the English word for it.
What do we do when we hear all those things? What we were told to do when we were trained to be teachers: listen, let them speak, ask follow-up questions. It's only that in teacher training courses they don't prepare you to listen to people talking about eating babies. Doesn't matter, you come to China and learn.
It is written somewhere in our contracts that we are not allowed to talk about politics, sex, religion and other “sensitive topics.” Guess what the students want to talk about. And guess who is scared, only me, other foreign teachers don't really care much. I tend to listen, there is nothing in my contract about stopping students from talking what they want to talk about. That is how I learned about Chinese sexual education in schools (or absolute lack of it), their willingness to change their country, their religious beliefs. Recently two students asked me in class if I'm religious and I told them I shouldn't talk about it, but we are friends and I can tell them. What can I do, they are really curious! Once in English Corner we were talking about improving the Chinese environment and I told them that in Poland much has changed during my lifetime. We didn't care about the environment when I was little and then we started and now it is visibly better. They asked when had the process of change begin. I was saying, well, in 1989 we.... I wanted to say: “stopped being communist”, hesitated, and actually said: “changed our political system.” but had I said it, it wouldn't really be a big deal. Nobody cares.
One curious thing about the Chinese people is that they stand too close when they talk to you. It is especially uncomfortable if they are of the opposite sex. Once a boy stood too close to me in the English Corner and asked:
-Where are you from?
-Poland.
-Oh I know. Poland during the second war, very bad.
-Yes.
-Hitler a very bad man.
-Yes (getting irritated, Holocaust is hardly the best topic for the small talk, especially when people are too close to you).
-What did you feel in those times.
-I don't know, I wasn't born yet.
-When was it?
-Eighty years ago.
-Eighteen?- the student looks at me with astonishment that I'm younger than eighteen.
-No, eighty!
-Aaaaa. Sorry, my English not good.
I finally managed to escape. To be honest, it is the weirdest incident of all the English Corners, so it's not that bad.
I recently started imagining my dear friends from Poland visiting me and taking part in the English Corner. I wonder how traumatic would it be if it happened during one's first stay in China. It certainly would be a more valuable experience that visiting both Forbidden City and the Great Wall. However, it might be like giving that bottle of vodka, which you drink instead of having twenty beers over a month, to a baby.
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